Be Selfish

I know. It seems like a strange concept. How can you be selfish AND charitable?

For a long time, to me the whole idea of charity was to put others before yourself. I have since learned that if you do not take care of yourself first, you will be - at best - less effective with your efforts and - at worst - you could actually cause more harm than good.

Take for example the motorcycle safety crew for the BC walks: It is our primary function to keep the walkers safe, so if we are ourselves somehow incapacitated, how can we properly do our jobs? If we need water and have to leave our assignments to get it, we have to leave our assignments. On top of that, how can we tell our walkers to take care of themselves if we ourselves are ignoring our own well-being?

To expand outside of that specific situation - it's key that you worry about yourself and your needs if you are going to spend your time worrying about others. I'm the type of person that wants to do it all, and when you tell me I can't do it all, it makes me want to do it all anyway (motivation is probably a twisted combination of spite and pride, unfortunately). But I was very lucky and learned this lesson just as I was feeling myself burn out. At one point (not too long ago) I was spread very thin - I had a new role at work, a new puppy at home, coached a young girls' softball team, crewed 2 BC walks, organized 2 fundraisers on my own for said BC walks, helped with a variety of events and fundraisers for the Herndon Council for the Arts and Jimmy's Old Town Tavern AND moved, all while of course trying to juggle the normal stuff life throws at you like relationships with friends/ family/ boyfriend. I was so exhausted that I didn't have time to really cherish all that I was doing, and I could feel myself losing my ability to effectively handle it all. It was a hard adjustment (one I'm still working on), but rearranging my priorities and activities allowed me to refocus on a few things and give 100% to those things.

The first thing that I cut out was coaching softball, which was heart-wrenching. I had been with these girls for several seasons and, to be cliche, taught them everything they knew. When the league gave my volunteering patience a run for its money I knew that it was time to bow out as gracefully as my pride would allow. I encouraged all of my girls to keep playing and emphasized that my reasons for moving on had nothing to do with them. Thankfully, many of them have kept in touch and are still playing :D

The next thing I rearranged was my approach to fundraisers. Lord knows I take a lot of pride in my independence, and it's often hard for me to realize that independence doesn't have to mean I have to do it all by myself. I asked for a little help from friends last year but clearly needed a lot more help than I'd originally budgeted for (keep all "oh yeah your crazy butt needs a LOT of help" comments to yourselves por favor). Thankfully I crew with some absolutely amazing people who ALSO wanted to host cool fundraisers. With our powers combined, we're now chugging along to a whopping 4 fundraisers next year!

• First up is the 3rd Annual Putt Putt for Pink Tournament in April! This has been a big hit the last couple of years, so I'm glad that I can get some help to expand the fun.
• Next will be a benefit concert in May, which my friends Mark and Alicia thought of. They've been in the music biz for quite some time, so it was a natural fit for our group! We're in dire need of a name - so help us out!
• Late June will be home to the ever-popular Bikini Bike Wash. 'Nuff said.
• Finally, we're going to round out our fundraising repertoire with a good ol' fashioned Poker Run in August. Go figure, bikers want to do a fundraiser where they get to ride their bikes.

As the details unfold I'll be sure to keep everyone up-to-date!

Though I'm well-aware that while I did cut out or reorganize 2 large chunks of effort in my life, I also added 2 new chunks (2 weeks on the road to head to Hotlanta and Tampa for their 3-Day walks, the trip that starts just a week and a half after the DC 3-Day) so maybe I don't have the whole "be selfish" concept down just yet. I do however feel like I expanded my support network a lot which should keep what is left of my sanity in check.